Ever Get That Feeling?

Ever have that moment when you stop and think “why exactly am I doing this?”

You could be sitting in your cubicle, watching t.v., eating with friends, painting, or writing a blog.

It’s a moment of clarity, an instance in which you step back from whatever situation you’re in and just wonder “why?”

I was recently writing (“does he do ANYTHING besides write? Sheesh!”) when I experienced that odd moment.

I became hyper aware of what I was doing: tapping pieces of plastic (keys) and listening to weird sounds out of black rectangles (music from my speakers).

I began to wonder the purpose of doing these things:  what was I trying to achieve? Did they have any “real” importance?

Hmm, it’s more difficult to explain the concept in words than I thought. The sensation is like a jumble of emotions and associations that are far from linear.

Hopefully someone out there knows what I’m talking about.  Preferably someone who isn’t tripping on LSD. 😛

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15 comments on “Ever Get That Feeling?

  1. I know what you mean about a sudden flash of awareness. It’s like the filter falls away from your eyes and you see what you are doing as if from a distance. I know someone–a meat-eater all her life–who was frying a steak on the stovetop when her filters fell away and she realized suddenly (a flash in a pan?) that there was the burnt flesh of a dead animal on her stove and that she meant to put it in her mouth. She screamed so loudly that the neighbors called the police!

    It’s funny to hear your description of what a writer does. That somehow tickety-tick on a keyboard can become words, pieced together into mind-pictures and abstract ideas and messages, and transported by magic around the world. Great post!

    • What a powerful realization for your friend to have. I can imagine how it felt.

      That the neighbors called the police is hilarious, haha.

      You really described the sensation of writing. We deal in abstractions, abstractions of abstractions really. Words that stand in place of the real thing.

      Phew, it’s a mind trip. 😛

      Thanks for another great comment, Naomi.

  2. Lol. I understand. Those are weird moments though. I’m sure it all has some significance or we wouldn’t be pondering it. If it has no significance, thinking about it makes us change it so it is significant. Or I try to at least. Now that makes me think about leaving a legacy which is random and has nothing to do with what your talking about. My brain is on a tangent.

    😀

    • Or maybe not so random. Maybe your thoughts of significance go to leaving a legacy because that’s part of life’s significance?

      It’s certainly that way for animals. It’s definitely the purpose of life for some people.

      Brain tangents are the best! 🙂

  3. Yes, very difficult to put into words. Here we are in our own very important lives, doing our own very important things and then, “Why?”. It’s like the enormity of the universe and the reality of the terrible smallness of what we’re doing come crashing together in that “Why?” In those moments, if one cannot come up with a good answer one can only adjust focus and move on.

    • Yes! The enormity of the universe in particular (and the almost irrelevance of what I’m doing) is exactly what I feel in those moments.

      It’s good to know that if I don’t have the words at a given moment, someone else can supply them.

      Thank you so much for commenting. 🙂

  4. I think every author gets that feeling once in a while. I know I have had that “why am I sitting here when I could be doing [insert activity here].” But then you do something instead of writing, and think about writing anyway….

    🙂 It’ll get better!

  5. “I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. ” -Woody Allen

    Hello fellow microscopic speck in the fabric of the universe – it might be time for you to get some fresh air 😉 Yes, it’s all random and still all connected. Chaos theory anyone?

    • Haha! You weren’t kidding about the fresh air part. Though, that can open up a whole other can of worms watching people go about their daily lives.

      Chaos theory is one of my favorites; after seeing Dr. Malcolm in Jurassic Park and reading the novel, Chaos theory almost convinced me to become a scientist. I wasn’t sure what kind, but just doing research. 😛

      • People watching is clearly the best part of being in a major city. That and the food! Wonder how many books have not been written for the writers lost in research……

  6. Well, I had that feeling when I dropped acid few weeks ago. I kept talking to my siblings for no reason and I deluged them with questions which I kept forgetting one by another. And all of a sudden, I had a feeling, why the deuce on earth I’m asking them questions when there is no topic of discussion? I’m guessing that was another me who was inundating them with questions, but it was fun to remember, because afterwards, I choked on some food and I couldn’t stop laughing about something which doesn’t make sense at all. 😀

  7. I kinow exactly what that feels like. Its is in those moments of clarity that you witness the unfolding of what you are beholding .I like to call it being aware of being aware.I hope that makes sense to you.

  8. Yes, I know the feeling….besides beer…much less now…and some the stuff politicians say they have inhale because of others…I’m more on oil, acrylic and pastel….

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