The past few days have been a whirlwind of activity. My twin nephews, who are the embodiment of energy and chaos, stayed with me for a few days.
Parents, you are all saints for refraining from strangling your children.
Since I couldn’t get any writing done with one of my nephews begging me to put on the Annoying Orange videos, I didn’t get much writing done. However, when they left, I experienced a moment of Zen . . . and also heartache as I do miss them.
But that’s not the topic of this post–reminiscence is.
I’ve written about memories before, but not in this context. I’ve been experiencing “triggers” lately that transport me back to a completely different time and place. Yesterday it was the sunlight coming through my window and a cool breeze flowing through my apartment.
Today it was a song I was listening to on the subway to work.
But my reminiscing isn’t as simple as just remembering events or even remembering how I felt. I actually feel the exact potency of emotion as I did that day.
Since I don’t have access to anyone else’s memories or emotions, I can’t tell if everyone experiences memories the same way. People certainly get sad thinking about sad things or happy thinking about happy things, but is it because they’re feeling the exact same joy or sadness they felt that day or are sad or happy about the memory?
It might seem like an arbitrary difference, but I’d argue it’s vital. My memories are so clear most times: I remember every little detail, and remembering becomes more about reliving.
I suppose that’s the real distinction, and how memories can be a curse as well as blessing: I relive those moments–smell, taste, touch, sound–and I physically feel the anguish or joy or fright I did then. It also leads to an avalanche of other thoughts and emotions.
The sunshine and breeze in my apartment reminded me of riding the school bus in 6th grade. We’d ride down a boulevard that faced the morning sun, and the glare was fierce yet comforting. Sitting in a green leather seat, I’d hum this little tune while staring at the sun. I felt such wonder about the world (I was a weird 10 year old). I remember how pure my thinking was at that time, about myself, the girls I liked, my family. And I relive that experience when I think of today.
Ok, enough of that. 🙂
What triggers memories for you? How vivid are your memories?